Sunday, June 29, 2008

Butt Washing

Over the years I've stayed in hotels and some rentals with bidets. A bidet is basically a separate toilet type bowl that one washes ones behind in after tinkling or performing other business. Funny enough, bidet is a french word that means "pony" and these toilets (for lack of a better word) were so named because one "mounts" or "rides" one not unlike you would a horse or pony. Is that too much information? Well, the pictures should really be all you need.

I've never used one until yesterday. Sure, I've turned them on and watched and wondered why anyone would use one. But yesterday, it all became clear to me in the oddest of places. Dena and I went to this place out in Burbank to look for stoves. We are trying to collect information on our kitchen and finally move forward with the remodel. The place was overwhelming with appliances of all sort and well, everything including the kitchen sink.

Somewhere during the process I had to go to the bathroom. Surprise. The woman with the smallest bladder having to to to the bathroom. In the bathroom was the Toto washlet bidet. This intriguing electronic plumbing gadget allows one to do their business then wash and dry without moving. I fantastic idea. It allows you to move the direction of the jet to wash in the proper place, adjust the strength of the spray and even pulsate. Now that's scary. After washing one can also dry. I decided at that moment, what the hell. You only live once. I tried it. I adjusted the spray and giggled. Hmmmm, that felt lovely. The water was not too cold, not too hot, just right. Yes, I even dried but honestly, used toilet paper afterward as it was too freaky not to.

Dena was waiting for me outside the bathroom and I emerged giggling and smiling. She elected not to try hers in the other bathroom and has since regretted it. Never give up a chance to try anything new, you never know what you might find.

Saturday, June 28, 2008


When I first started looking for a different, new and exciting job, like so many at the company I just left I thought the pickings were a little sparse. I started to shake trees as I call it, that's renewing old contacts, touching base with old friends, getting involved in things I'd let slide, etc etc <-- shaking trees. Things started to fall out and life was good. That is how I got the job I have now. I like the job I have now. It's interesting, new and the company has some incredible benefits.

But, the trees I started shaking are still bearing fruit and the fruit is getting ripe. Riper everyday it seems. I recently had a job offer for $ 145k. It was in Beverly Hills, what was a girl to do? It was a great opportunity but I decided to stay. Another opportunity has just popped up. Not as great as the job I have now and not as great as the previous offer, but with more responsibility and a greater location. What is a girl to do? You can rest assured that my mind will be a swirling and a whirling this weekend. I'll keep you posted.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

My First Opera

Dena has wanted to go to an opera for a long time now and being the fantastic partner I am I surprised her with tickets to the opera. Unfortunately, it was right during a very, very busy weekend around our house and during quite a heat wave in Los Angeles. It's hard to get all dressed up when your house is over 90 degrees.

I was dreading the opera. In my limited knowledge of it I assumed it was a musical, except in a language I didn't understand and that I'd have to read. What's worse than a subtitled musical? That is a good question but I was sure I'd be bored to tears. With that in mind I read through all the synopses and found that Tosca sounded the most interesting. It had murder and intrique with a firing squad thrown in for a bonus so I hopefully thought this would keep me entertained despite all the singing. I was right.

Basically a brief synopsis is that a guy escapes from jail, the evil police chief tries to capture him and in the meantime discovers that his latest romantic interest (Tosca), her boyfriend has harbored the escapee. He uses this information to get to her. They all die in the end. hehe We had the bonus of experiencing Plácido Domingo ( the world famous tenor and conductor), conduct the orchestra during the performance.

I learned that Opera is not quite as bad as a musical, there's the drama (over the top drama) of a theatrical performance, listening to Italian is not that bad as it's a nice language and I only fell asleep in Act 3. So all in all, I did pretty good. I did however have to promise Dena that we could go to one opera a season at the LA Opera House. Ah, the things we do for love.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Gas Hits $ 5.00 a gallon

I definitely thought I wouldn't be typing this in during 2008. Why do they look so happy under that sign? Must be alcohol.

Friday, June 13, 2008


As I sit here among Dena's family, joking and making inappropriate innuendoes with the adults, flicking and teasing the kids, I think of my family and how much I miss them.  As we age, or let me not speak for all of "us", but as I age family becomes more important, bordering on vital.   In my 20's all I could think of was escaping from my family, in my 30's it was all about career and in my 40's it's all about connections, family and friends.  

Each connection is important, from work and my connections to friends and finally family.  It seems that relationships are what it's all about.

I miss my Mom, I miss my siblings and most of all, I miss watching my little niece Grace and Sienna grow up.  I miss all of it.  I don't miss the weather in Canada, but I miss my family.  haha  So here I sit at Dena's dad's 75th birthday, part of a family, but not part of a family.  It's hard to explain.  I suppose blood is truly thicker than water.  

 Well, I've had a little wine and one shouldn't blog intoxicated, whether mildly or otherwise.   
Suffice it to say that my heart swells with the love within the Schwimmer family home yet cries from missing my own family.  And that really says it all.....

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Life, Liberty and What??

Unless you've been living under a rock in California you've heard that on May 16th, 2008 the Supreme Court of California (not the first state I might add) voted in a 4 to 3 ruling that the state Constitution protects a fundamental "right to marry" that extends equally to same-sex couples. It tossed a highly emotional issue into the election year while opening the way for tens of thousands of gay people to wed in California, starting as early as mid-June. For those of you living under a rock, articles can be found here and here.

This is pretty exciting stuff. Imagine the boost to the California economy as gays and lesbians rush to the alter! Matter of fact they are expecting (based on census data and Massachusetts' experience) over 20,000 weddings before November. Why is there a magic date of November 2008? I'm so glad you asked as there is a catch to everything. There is a group called the Liberty Counsel (naturally a fundamental Christian group) that are fighting to put a constitutional amendment on the ballot in November stating that marriage is defined as a man and a woman.

What saddens me is the use of the word Liberty to define themselves. Liberty is defined by dictionaries everywhere as the following:

-- autonomy: immunity from arbitrary exercise of authority: political independence
-- freedom of choice; "liberty of opinion"; "liberty of worship"; "liberty--perfect liberty--to think or feel or do just as one pleases"; "at liberty to choose whatever occupation one wishes"
-- personal freedom from servitude or confinement or oppression

None of those definitions comes anywhere near the right winged, discriminatory, oppressive opinions that this group spews out from their websites, blogs and other media blitzs. It saddens me even more that this group and other groups like it have successfully certified a proposed constitutional amendment for the November 2008 ballot. It's a terrible thing that in a country founded by immigrants trying to escape religious oppression spends so much time religously oppressing it's people.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Hell Has Frozen Over

Tonight I stood in front of my bathroom mirror and reached for the magnifying mirror and studied the new lines on my face. Then I reached for the night face creme, then the red splotch prevention creme, the under the eye creme, the wrinkle fill 'er inner creme and finally the creme to stop the wrinkles on my neck and chest. Yes, I used 5 different beauty cremes tonight. What the hell is happening to me? Does all this stuff really work? Does it combat gravity, UV rays, pollution and stress at all?

It must, right?

Please, please, I hope it does.....

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Sex in the City

This weekend we went to see Sex in the City, the movie. The theatre was packed with groups of women. Large groups, small groups, younger groups, older groups, all kinds of women. There were very few guys to be sure. I thought all in all it was an excellent movie, well representative of the series, funny, adult and just a little heart wrenching. The perfect chick flick. This little chick flick toppled Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull from the top spot for the weekend bringing in 56 million dollars. Not bad, not bad at all.

In the movie (and the series) all the women have fantastic wardrobes, are in excellent shape and have a real sense of style. As I stood in line at the theatre I looked at the different groupings of women and could see that many of them actually got dressed up in their own version of "Manhattan Style" to see the movie. Or was it just me being cynical and did they always dress this way? Did I dress that way when I was younger? Did I have that sense of style? Nah. I don't remember any style. We couldn't afford style.

I remember when I was a kid in junior high school I wanted Wrangler's so bad, for 2 years I wanted them. They were the "in" thing. Wrangler jeans with bell bottoms. Yeah baby. I couldn't have them. They were too expensive. I got my jeans at Sears. On sale...... No Wranglers for me. You know what's funny. I still buy my jeans on sale except now I own a pair of Wranglers and they are NOT in.